A Navy SEAL explains 8 secrets to grit and resilience

A Navy SEAL explains 8 secrets to grit and resilienceA Navy SEAL explains 8 secrets to grit and resilienceSometimes you just want to quit. You know you shouldnt but nothing seems better than crawling back into bed andhiding under the covers. (I am there right now, actually, with my laptop.) The emerging science of grit and resilience is teaching us a lot about why some people redouble their efforts when the rest of us are heading for the door.Research is great, but its always nice to talk to someone whos been there firsthand, and to see how theory holds up against reality. So who knows about grit and persistence? Navy SEALs.So I gave my friend James Waters a call. Hewelches a SEAL Platoon Commander. BUD/S class 264 had a 94% attrition rate. Out of 256 guys only 16 graduated - and James welches one of them.James and I talked for hurs but what struck me welches how much of what he had to say aboutSEAL training and his time in the teams aligned with the research on grit, motivation, e xpertise and how people survive the fruchtwein challengingsituations.So what career guidance can theSEALs and research give you about getting through lifes tough times? Here we go.1)Purpose And MeaningTo say SEAL training is hard is a massive understatement. The initial vetting phase (BUD/S) is specifically designed to weed people out who arent serious.How do you get serious? Grit often comes from a place of deep purpose and personal meaning.Heres JamesAt BUD/S you haveto know what youre getting yurself into and what youre there to do. I still mentor a lot of guys who are interested in trying out for BUD/S and they always ask,What do I need to do to make my pushups better? or Can you teach me the proper swim technique? My first question is always, Why do you want to be a SEAL? What is it about being a SEAL thatappeals to you?And the research backs James up. Without a good reason to keep pushing, well quit. Studies of central governor theory show our brains always give in long before our body does.Via Faster, Higher, Stronger How Sports Science Is Creating a New Generation of Superathletesand What We Can Learn from ThemOverall, it seems that exercise performance is ultimately limited by perception of effort rather than cardiorespiratory and musculoenergetic factors.But this isnt just true for athletics, it also holds for careers.In a study ofWest Point alums, those that had intrinsic goals (I want to serve my country. I want to test my abilities.) outperformedthose that had extrinsic goals (I want to rise in the ranks and become an officer because thats a really powerful position and its prestigious.)(For more on how people stay resilient in the most deadly situations, click here.)So purpose matters. But whats the attitude that keeps you going in the moment? Its actually a bit less serious.2) Make It A GameWhen I hear something over and over from very different sources, I take notice. And make it a game is one of those things.Whats one of the things people who live throughdisaster scenarios have in common? They make survival a game.Happiness expert Shawn Achor said the best way to deal with stress is to see problems aschallenges, not threats.Kids do better in school when its treated like a game.James said the saatkorn thing about getting through the tough times at BUD/SMany peopledont recognize that what theyre doing at BUD/S is assessing your ability to handle a difficult circumstance and keep going. Its a game. If you want to be a Navy SEAL, youve got to play that game. Youve got to have fun with it and youve got to keep your eye on the bigger picture.(For more on how astronauts, samurai and Navy SEALs make good decisions, click here.)Obviously, much of what SEALs do on a mission is quite serious but in getting through the training, treating it like a gameis a great perspective. But how confident do you need to be?3) Be Confident - But RealisticIn the bookSupersurvivorsthe author makes an interesting distinction People in tough situati ons need to be very realistic about the danger theyre in - but they need to be confident about their ability to handle it. Lack of confidence isnt an option but neither is denial.James echoed this same sentiment when talking about the attitude SEALs need to have when on a missionWhen you lead a platoon, you want your guys to be confident inwhat theyre doing and know that they have the training to be able to go out and accomplish a mission and bring everybody home safe.You dont want your guys to be overconfident because thats always when a mistake happens. Its always when someone gets hurt.Research has shown that hope and despair can be self-fulfilling prophecies.(For the three things you can learn about fearlessness from Special Ops and Navy SEALs, click here.)Confidence is always good. But what builds confidence when youre unsure?4) Prepare, Prepare, PrepareMarathons arent as hard after a few months of training. But if I said you had to run one tomorrow youd probably cry.Most peop le think SEALs are going from mission to mission, always in the field. Nothing could be further from the truth. James spent only 25% of his time deployed. He spent 75% of his time training. Why?Skills are perishable and SEALsneed to be so good at so much.Heres JamesMost people assume if youre a SEAL, youve been deployed in the combat zone every waking moment of the time youre on active duty which, of course, isnt the case. We spend 75% of our time preparing for deployment and about 25% on the deployment. The reason for that is we havea lot of skills to cover and a SEALs trying to be a jack of all trades, master of none. There are many different disciplines to master, all of which require a lot of upkeep.Its not like you jump out of a plane once and then you remember how to do it forever. Its something youve got to constantly revisit. When you hang out in the mountains of Afghanistan, you dont exactly get to work on your scuba diving.According to the research, who survives catastroph ic scenarios? The people who have prepared.Via David McRaneysYou Are Not So Smart Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways Youre Deluding YourselfAccording to Johnson and Leach, the sort of people who survive are the sort of people who prepare for the worst and practice ahead of time. Theyve done the research, or built the shelter, or run the drills. They look for the exits and imagine what they will do. They were in a fire as a child or survived a typhoon. These people dont deliberate during calamity because theyve already done the deliberation the other people around them are just now going through.Research shows that reducing uncertainty reduces fear. According to Dan Coyle, before the Bin Laden mission SEALs built two full scale replicas of the building theyd be entering and practiced the raid for three weeks.(For more on how a good attitude promotes success, click here.)So what do you do after you prepare?5)Focus On Improve mentWhen you frame things asa win/lose scenario and they dont go well, youre a loser. And so you quit.When you take the perspective that everything is a learning experience, there are no winners or losers. And you just keep getting better.James said this attitude is key for SEALsEric, this gets at my point of the SEAL experience, this constant learning, constantly not being satisfied. Thats one of the interesting things about the community you never feel like youve got it all figured out. If you do feel like you figured it out, you probably arent doing it right.If youre not willing to learn from other people then frankly youre not doing all you need to do to be the best operator you can possibly be.Its a culture of constant self-improvement and constant measurement of how youre doing. Thats a theme I think that all SEALs would agree is critical.Carol Dwecks research at Stanford shows that a growth mindset (believing abilities arent fixed and you can improve) is a key element of succ ess. And Angela Duckworth has found this attitude is tied to gritwe have found moderate, positive associations between grit and growth mindset, suggesting that growth mindset, like optimistic explanatory style, may contribute to the tendency to sustain effort toward and commitment to goals.And how do you become an expert? By focusing on your weaknesses, not your strengths.SEALs take this very seriously, doing a debrief after each mission to review what happened and spending 90% of the time discussing what they could do better next time.Heres JamesWhen yougo out on a mission, you always acknowledge your successes but much more important than that is you take a hard look at your failures and are willing to accept criticism.One of the key strengths of the SEAL Teams is the culture of constant self-improvement. No one ever says Thats good enough. On almost every real world mission I welches on even the most successful ones we spent 90% of our post-mission debrief focusing on what we d id wrong or could have done better.Some of you are thinking, Oh, theyre SEALs. They were just born experts. Not true. As Angela Duckworths research on grit shows, gritty people often abflug out less talented. But by hard work they end up better than the naturally giftedOur research suggests that prodigious talent is no guarantee of grit. In fact, in most samples, grit and talent are either orthogonal or slightly negatively correlated.(For more on the science of how you can becomean expert at anything, click here.)So maybe youre doing all these things and are well on your way to grit Valhalla. Great. But you cant do it alone.6) Give Help And Get HelpJames had buddies who supported him and who he gave support to. Lone wolves dont make it in the teams.Heres JamesThe people who make it through BUD/S are the guys to whomthe team matters more than anything, including their own pain.Many of the guys who quit at BUD/S are, on the other hand, people who frankly just dont care as much about t hat stuff. Youll be carrying a log in training that weighs a few hundred pounds and youre carrying it with six guys for two and a half hours. Among other reasons, those who quit dont seem to feel much remorse when they duck out from behind that log and ring the bell so they can take a shower and be done. Guys who ultimately make it would never even think about doing that because, even if they were in such dire pain, they just would never do that to their teammate.The benefits of getting help are obvious. But by giving help andtaking on the role of caretaker we increase the feeling of meaning in our lives. This helps people in the worst situationskeep going.AsThe Power of HabitauthorCharles Duhigg explained,having a support network is vital to improvement. Seeing others achieve goals makes us believe we can. James expressed this same point about BUD/SYouve got to have that voice in your head thats like, Okay, Im here to do this. I knew that it was going to be hard. At the end, Im goi ng to get to do something a lot cooler. If all these guys can do it, I can certainly do it.(For more onhow you can increase yourwillpower, click here.)Grit is great but what keeps us motivated when were under the most intense pressures imaginable and nothing seems to be going right? Its the little things.7) Celebrate Small WinsThe research on motivation is clear small wins are a big deal. Taking a moment to appreciate the little good things that happen is far more motivating thanthinking you need to win that Nobel Prize or Academy Award before youre allowed to be happy.James said almost the exact same thing about BUD/S. Appreciating the small fleeting victories is essential to getting through the hard moments like the infamous Hell WeekWhen youre at BUD/S, its the small victories that matter. Lets say you made it through a two and a half hour long PT session. You throw that log down, get together with your class, and go run a mile to dinner.Thats a small victory. It feels good.You s it down, have a nice meal, and feel like everythings great. Then as soon as dinner is done, the instructors see you and say, Go get wet and sandy. They torture you again and youre back down into the muck. BUD/S is a constant cycle of peaks and valleys. Even your brightest moments are constantly transformed into bad ones. When you finish Hell Week you feel like youre on top of the world until you realize you still have nearly a year of training left to go. But youve got to be able to accept these peaks and valleys, these small victories and recognize that, yes, so many things are bad but they do have a start and an end.The research on happiness agrees tooLots of little good things beat infrequent great things when it comes to how good we feel.(For more on how you can be more motivated, click here.)Enough big fancy concepts and nerdy research. Whats something dead simple were all familiar with that SEALs and academics agree can help us be resilient when the world is treating us bad?8) Find A Way To LaughAwhile back I interviewedArmy Ranger Joe Asher and he said this about making it through the punishment of Ranger School If I can laugh once a day, every day Im in Ranger School, Ill make it through.James said the same thing about SEAL trainingYouve got to have fun and be able to laugh laugh at yourself and laugh at what youre doing. My best friend and I laughed our way through BUD/S. We still tell the same jokes whenever I talk him.Itsone of my best memories of going through BUD/S. Theres something about when youre facing a really crummy situation, to look over at your friend and see him smile.It tells you, Alright, Im going to be fine. Were going to be fine and its all going to work out.Experts say that humor provides a powerful buffer against stress and fear.ViaNerve Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave New Science of Fear and CoolHumor is about playing with ideas and concepts, said Martin, who teaches at the University of Western Ontario. So whenever we see something as funny were looking at it from a different perspective. When people are trapped in a stressful situation and feeling overwhelmed, theyre stuck in one way of thinking This is terrible. Ive got to get out of here. But if you can take a humorous perspective, then by definition youre looking at it differently - youre breaking out of that rigid mind-set.(For more on how to be funny, click here.)Lets round this upwith the key takeaways from James and the research.Enough Reading. Time For Doing.What we can learn from James, the SEALs and the research on how to have gritPurpose and meaning. Its easier to be persistent when what were doing is tied to something personally meaningful.Make it a game. Its the best way to stay in a competitive mindset without stressing yourself out.Be confident - but realistic. See the challenges honestly but believe in your own ability to take them on.Prepare, prepare, prepare. Grit comes a lot easier when youve done the work to make sure youre ready.Focus on improvement. Every SEAL mission ends with a debrief focusing on what went wrong so they canimprove.Give help and get help. rckendeckungfrom othershelpskeep you going, and giving others support does the same.Celebrate small wins. You cant wait to catch the big fish. Take joy where you can find it when good times are scarce.Find a way to laugh. Rangers, SEALs, and scientists agree a chuckle can help you cope with stress and keep you going.Real grit and dedicationpays dividendslong after the challenges are over. They build bonds that last a lifetime.After James left active service he found out one of his teammateshad tragically died in a training accident. Most of the platoonhad already left their Hawaii training base and relocated all over the country.But they all returned for the memorial service. Every single one. And it never occurred to himthat everyone wouldnt. Heres JamesWe had guys in Colorado, Nevada, Virginia, Georgia, and Florida really all ov er the place. There was just no question wed all come back for the memorial service. No question. Everybody was there and it was a really sad, sad event and we all miss Matt a lot I was so proud of ourguys. I think it said alot about the quality of our experience and the caliber of ourguys that there was no question theyd return. I think a lot of SEAL platoons areexactly like that. It was just nice to know that everybodys got each others back,just like we always did.In my next weekly email Ill have more from James including his analysis of the type of people whomake it through SEAL training (and people who dont), along with discussion of the four methods the Navy used to increase SEAL passing rates.To make sure you dont miss it, join here.Join over285,000 readers and get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related posts6 Hostage Negotiation Techniques That Will Get You What You WantHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Don e 5 Expert TipsThis article originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.A Navy SEAL explains 8 secrets to grit and resilienceSometimes you just want to quit. You know you shouldnt but nothing seems better than crawling back into bed andhiding under the covers. (I am there right now, actually, with my laptop.)The emerging science of grit and resilience is teaching us a lot about why some people redouble their efforts when the rest of us are heading for the door.Research is great, but its always nice to talk to someone whos been there firsthand and to see how theory holds up against reality. So who knows about grit and persistence? Navy SEALs.So I gave my friend James Waters a call. Hewas a SEAL Platoon Commander. BUD/S class 264 had a 94% attrition rate. Out of 256 guys only 16 graduated - and James was one of them.James and I talked for hours but what struck me was how much of what he had to say aboutSEAL training and his time in the teams aligned with the research on grit, m otivation, expertise and how people survive the most challengingsituations.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreSo what career guidance can theSEALs and research give you about getting through lifes tough times? Here we go.1)Purpose And MeaningTo say SEAL training is hard is a massive understatement. The initial vetting phase (BUD/S) is specifically designed to weed people out who arent serious.How do you get serious? Grit often comes from a place of deep purpose and personal meaning.Heres JamesAt BUD/S you haveto know what youre getting yourself into and what youre there to do. I still mentor a lot of guys who are interested in trying out for BUD/S and they always ask,What do I need to do to make my pushups better? or Can you teach me the proper swim technique? My first question is always, Why do you want to be a SEAL? What is it about being a SEAL thatappeals to you?And the resear ch backs James up. Without a good reason to keep pushing, well quit. Studies of central governor theory show our brains always give in long before our body does.Via Faster, Higher, Stronger How Sports Science Is Creating a New Generation of Superathletesand What We Can Learn from ThemOverall, it seems that exercise performance is ultimately limited by perception of effort rather than cardiorespiratory and musculoenergetic factors.But this isnt just true for athletics, it also holds for careers.In a study ofWest Point alums, those that had intrinsic goals (I want to serve my country. I want to test my abilities.) outperformedthose that had extrinsic goals (I want to rise in the ranks and become an officer because thats a really powerful position and its prestigious.)(For more on how people stay resilient in the most deadly situations, click here.)So purpose matters. But whats the attitude that keeps you going in the moment? Its actually a bit less serious.2) Make It A GameWhen I hear something over and over from very different sources, I take notice. And make it a game is one of those things.Whats one of the things people who live throughdisaster scenarios have in common? They make survival a game.Happiness expert Shawn Achor said the best way to deal with stress is to see problems aschallenges, not threats.Kids do better in school when its treated like a game.James said the same thing about getting through the tough times at BUD/SMany peopledont recognize that what theyre doing at BUD/S is assessing your ability to handle a difficult circumstance and keep going. Its a game. If you want to be a Navy SEAL, youve got to play that game. Youve got to have fun with it and youve got to keep your eye on the bigger picture.(For more on how astronauts, samurai and Navy SEALs make good decisions, click here.)Obviously, much of what SEALs do on a mission is quite serious but in getting through the training, treating it like a gameis a great perspective. But how confident do you need to be?3) Be Confident - But RealisticIn the bookSupersurvivorsthe author makes an interesting distinction People in tough situations need to be very realistic about the danger theyre in - but they need to be confident about their ability to handle it. Lack of confidence isnt an option but neither is denial.James echoed this same sentiment when talking about the attitude SEALs need to have when on a missionWhen you lead a platoon, you want your guys to be confident inwhat theyre doing and know that they have the training to be able to go out and accomplish a mission and bring everybody home safe.You dont want your guys to be overconfident because thats always when a mistake happens. Its always when someone gets hurt.Research has shown that hope and despair can be self-fulfilling prophecies.(For the three things you can learn about fearlessness from Special Ops and Navy SEALs, click here.)Confidence is always good. But what builds confidence when youre unsure?4) Prepare, Prepare, PrepareMarathons arent as hard after a few months of training. But if I said you had to run one tomorrow youd probably cry.Most people think SEALs are going from mission to mission, always in the field. Nothing could be further from the truth. James spent only 25% of his time deployed. He spent 75% of his time training. Why?Skills are perishable and SEALsneed to be so good at so much.Heres JamesMost people assume if youre a SEAL, youve been deployed in the combat zone every waking moment of the time youre on active duty which, of course, isnt the case. We spend 75% of our time preparing for deployment and about 25% on the deployment. The reason for that is we havea lot of skills to cover and a SEALs trying to be a jack of all trades, master of none. There are many different disciplines to master, all of which require a lot of upkeep.Its not like you jump out of a plane once and then you remember how to do it forever. Its something youve got to constantly revisit. When you hang out in the mountains of Afghanistan, you dont exactly get to work on your scuba diving.According to the research, who survives catastrophic scenarios? The people who have prepared.Via David McRaneysYou Are Not So Smart Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways Youre Deluding YourselfAccording to Johnson and Leach, the sort of people who survive are the sort of people who prepare for the worst and practice ahead of time. Theyve done the research, or built the shelter, or run the drills. They look for the exits and imagine what they will do. They were in a fire as a child or survived a typhoon. These people dont deliberate during calamity because theyve already done the deliberation the other people around them are just now going through.Research shows that reducing uncertainty reduces fear. According to Dan Coyle, before the Bin Laden mission SEALs built two full scale replicas of the building theyd be entering and practiced the raid for three weeks.(For more on how a good attitude promotes success, click here.)So what do you do after you prepare?5)Focus On ImprovementWhen you frame things asa win/lose scenario and they dont go well, youre a loser. And so you quit.When you take the perspective that everything is a learning experience, there are no winners or losers. And you just keep getting better.James said this attitude is key for SEALsEric, this gets at my point of the SEAL experience, this constant learning, constantly not being satisfied. Thats one of the interesting things about the community you never feel like youve got it all figured out. If you do feel like you figured it out, you probably arent doing it right.If youre not willing to learn from other people then frankly youre not doing all you need to do to be the best operator you can possibly be.Its a culture of constant self-improvement and constant measurement of how youre doing. Thats a theme I think that all SEALs would agree is critica l.Carol Dwecks research at Stanford shows that a growth mindset (believing abilities arent fixed and you can improve) is a key element of success. And Angela Duckworth has found this attitude is tied to gritwe have found moderate, positive associations between grit and growth mindset, suggesting that growth mindset, like optimistic explanatory style, may contribute to the tendency to sustain effort toward and commitment to goals.And how do you become an expert? By focusing on your weaknesses, not your strengths.SEALs take this very seriously, doing a debrief after each mission to review what happened and spending 90% of the time discussing what they could do better next time.Heres JamesWhen yougo out on a mission, you always acknowledge your successes but much more important than that is you take a hard look at your failures and are willing to accept criticism.One of the key strengths of the SEAL Teams is the culture of constant self-improvement. No one ever says Thats good enough. On almost every real world mission I was on even the most successful ones we spent 90% of our post-mission debrief focusing on what we did wrong or could have done better.Some of you are thinking, Oh, theyre SEALs. They were just born experts. Not true. As Angela Duckworths research on grit shows, gritty people often start out less talented. But by hard work they end up better than the naturally giftedOur research suggests that prodigious talent is no guarantee of grit. In fact, in most samples, grit and talent are either orthogonal or slightly negatively correlated.(For more on the science of how you can becomean expert at anything, click here.)So maybe youre doing all these things and are well on your way to grit Valhalla. Great. But you cant do it alone.6) Give Help And Get HelpJames had buddies who supported him and who he gave support to. Lone wolves dont make it in the teams.Heres JamesThe people who make it through BUD/S are the guys to whomthe team matters more than anythi ng, including their own pain.Many of the guys who quit at BUD/S are, on the other hand, people who frankly just dont care as much about that stuff. Youll be carrying a log in training that weighs a few hundred pounds and youre carrying it with six guys for two and a half hours. Among other reasons, those who quit dont seem to feel much remorse when they duck out from behind that log and ring the bell so they can take a shower and be done. Guys who ultimately make it would never even think about doing that because, even if they were in such dire pain, they just would never do that to their teammate.The benefits of getting help are obvious. But by giving help andtaking on the role of caretaker we increase the feeling of meaning in our lives. This helps people in the worst situationskeep going.AsThe Power of HabitauthorCharles Duhigg explained,having a support network is vital to improvement. Seeing others achieve goals makes us believe we can. James expressed this same point about BUD /SYouve got to have that voice in your head thats like, Okay, Im here to do this. I knew that it was going to be hard. At the end, Im going to get to do something a lot cooler. If all these guys can do it, I can certainly do it.(For more onhow you can increase yourwillpower, click here.)Grit is great but what keeps us motivated when were under the most intense pressures imaginable and nothing seems to be going right? Its the little things.7) Celebrate Small WinsThe research on motivation is clear small wins are a big deal. Taking a moment to appreciate the little good things that happen is far more motivating thanthinking you need to win that Nobel Prize or Academy Award before youre allowed to be happy.James said almost the exact same thing about BUD/S. Appreciating the small fleeting victories is essential to getting through the hard moments like the infamous Hell WeekWhen youre at BUD/S, its the small victories that matter. Lets say you made it through a two and a half hour long PT session. You throw that log down, get together with your class, and go run a mile to dinner.Thats a small victory. It feels good.You sit down, have a nice meal, and feel like everythings great. Then as soon as dinner is done, the instructors see you and say, Go get wet and sandy. They torture you again and youre back down into the muck. BUD/S is a constant cycle of peaks and valleys. Even your brightest moments are constantly transformed into bad ones. When you finish Hell Week you feel like youre on top of the world until you realize you still have nearly a year of training left to go. But youve got to be able to accept these peaks and valleys, these small victories and recognize that, yes, so many things are bad but they do have a start and an end.The research on happiness agrees tooLots of little good things beat infrequent great things when it comes to how good we feel.(For more on how you can be more motivated, click here.)Enough big fancy concepts and nerdy research. Whats something dead simple were all familiar with that SEALs and academics agree can help us be resilient when the world is treating us bad?8)Find A Way To LaughAwhile back I interviewedArmy Ranger Joe Asher and he said this about making it through the punishment of Ranger School If I can laugh once a day, every day Im in Ranger School, Ill make it through.James said the same thing about SEAL trainingYouve got to have fun and be able to laugh laugh at yourself and laugh at what youre doing. My best friend and I laughed our way through BUD/S. We still tell the same jokes whenever I talk him.Itsone of my best memories of going through BUD/S. Theres something about when youre facing a really crummy situation, to look over at your friend and see him smile.It tells you, Alright, Im going to be fine. Were going to be fine and its all going to work out.Experts say that humor provides a powerful buffer against stress and fear.ViaNerve Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave Ne w Science of Fear and CoolHumor is about playing with ideas and concepts, said Martin, who teaches at the University of Western Ontario. So whenever we see something as funny were looking at it from a different perspective. When people are trapped in a stressful situation and feeling overwhelmed, theyre stuck in one way of thinking This is terrible. Ive got to get out of here. But if you can take a humorous perspective, then by definition youre looking at it differently - youre breaking out of that rigid mind-set.(For more on how to be funny, click here.)Lets round this upwith the key takeaways from James and the research.Enough Reading. Time For Doing.What we can learn from James, the SEALs and the research on how to have gritPurpose and meaning. Its easier to be persistent when what were doing is tied to something personally meaningful.Make it a game. Its the best way to stay in a competitive mindset without stressing yourself out.Be confident - but realistic. See the challenges honestly but believe in your own ability to take them on.Prepare, prepare, prepare. Grit comes a lot easier when youve done the work to make sure youre ready.Focus on improvement. Every SEAL mission ends with a debrief focusing on what went wrong so they canimprove.Give help and get help. Supportfrom othershelpskeep you going, and giving others support does the same.Celebrate small wins. You cant wait to catch the big fish. Take joy where you can find it when good times are scarce.Find a way to laugh. Rangers, SEALs, and scientists agree a chuckle can help you cope with stress and keep you going.Real grit and dedicationpays dividendslong after the challenges are over. They build bonds that last a lifetime.After James left active service he found out one of his teammateshad tragically died in a training accident. Most of the platoonhad already left their Hawaii training base and relocated all over the country.But they all returned for the memorial service. Every single one. And it n ever occurred to himthat everyone wouldnt. Heres JamesWe had guys in Colorado, Nevada, Virginia, Georgia, and Florida really all over the place. There was just no question wed all come back for the memorial service. No question. Everybody was there and it was a really sad, sad event and we all miss Matt a lot I was so proud of ourguys. I think it said alot about the quality of our experience and the caliber of ourguys that there was no question theyd return. I think a lot of SEAL platoons areexactly like that. It was just nice to know that everybodys got each others back,just like we always did.In my next weekly email Ill have more from James including his analysis of the type of people whomake it through SEAL training (and people who dont), along with discussion of the four methods the Navy used to increase SEAL passing rates.To make sure you dont miss it, join here.Join over285,000 readers and get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related posts6 Hostage Negotiation Techniques Th at Will Get You What You WantHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done 5 Expert TipsThis article originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people